Ally Lewber is detailing the night of James Kennedy‘s domestic violence arrest for the very first time.
Four months after the 33-year-old Vanderpump Rules alum was taken into custody after allegedly body-slamming his female victim, Ally, 29, who recently launched a new podcast, StarStruck with Ally Lewber, is opening up about the moments that led up to the arrest as well as what went down between them, what caused her to split from the DJ, and more.
“It was such a high and a low week,” Ally told PEOPLE on April 8. “We had just recorded my first episode of [new podcast] StarStruck. James was going to be my first guest. Great energy, we had so much fun. And then the next night was the Kathy Hilton night.”
While attending Kathy Hilton’s annual Christmas party in December 2024, where Ally was reading the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star’s birth chart, Ally learned James “was drinking behind [her] back.”
“When I was finished working and came out to the party, that’s when it was like, ‘Oh, his whole demeanor changed,’” she recalled. “And I could kind of tell, like, ‘Have you been drinking?’”
According to Ally, she was “suspicious” but not fully convinced that James had been drinking until he “kind of spiraled” on the way home.
“I was like, ‘You’re obviously drunk,’” Ally told James. “Because he has a sip and it’s pretty easy to spot.”
Because James was well aware that “drinking was a non-negotiable” for Ally, she became quite upset.
“The tension was high,” she admitted. “[James was] still gaslighting me. He’s like, ‘I’m not drunk, you’re drunk.’ And I’m like, ‘No.’ We were just fighting, and then when we got out of the Uber, the fighting just continued. I was like, ‘I don’t want to be here.’”
“I don’t know who called the cops, but the cops showed up,” she continued. “They assessed the situation, and I was not hurt physically. Emotionally, yes.”
While the cops were at the $1.3 million Burbank home she once shared with James, Ally requested they breathalyze James.
“They were like, ‘Well, we can’t do that. We’re not allowed to do that.’ But then they were like, ‘He’s drunk.’ And I was like, ‘Okay, thanks,’” she revealed.
Following the incident, Ally’s mom flew to Los Angeles to move her into an Airbnb.
“It was initially totally like, ‘Let me just take space,’” she shared. “I was still just trying to regulate his emotions and not upset him and upset myself. Because I was heartbroken and sad, and this was around Christmas, and everything was just great.”
Then, after speaking to her therapist, who told her that her fairytale “wasn’t real,” and learning that James was “drinking again behind my back,” Ally decided to call it quits.
“I never was physically hurt and I never felt unsafe,” she insisted. “I think it was more just walking on eggshells and feeling anxious about, when is his next blow-up going to be? And I didn’t even realize this really until I was out of the house for a while, but just how my nervous system just feels normal again. It was always kind of anxious of making sure that he doesn’t get upset. Monitoring someone’s behavior is not healthy.”
In addition to moving on from her three-year romance with James, Ally learned why she’s attracted to partners with alcohol issues.
“My therapist was great,” Ally noted. “She helped me realize too, because I’m also like, ‘Why do I keep attracting partners with alcohol issues?’ And my dad died when I was 11 from alcohol-related issues, and I would never have put the two together, but she was the one that was like, ‘Well, you’re trying to save your dad.’”
Looking back at the way in which her and James’ drama was thrust into the spotlight, Ally compared the buzz to a “wake-up [call]” as she admitted she “probably” would have stayed with James if their encounter had remained private.
“I’m weirdly grateful because it made me face the facts,” she explained. “It was just a lot of wake-up calls that needed to happen.”
With her attention focused on StarStruck with Ally Lewber, Ally confirmed she is no longer speaking to James.
“[I was] definitely resentful and upset,” she said. “But then, I mean, even the night that he got arrested I immediately just felt bad for him … I know that he wishes that he was more powerful than the drink. So it just makes me feel sad, because it is too bad. It’s sad for everyone involved.”
Then, noting that she’s “proud” of James for returning to his life of sobriety, Ally said she’s “excited for him to just heal for himself” and “excited” to get back into dating.
“For me, taking things slow and just finding someone that I don’t have to fix, someone who already is whole and complete,” she revealed of her dream partner. “I think having someone who comes in and is just fun and kind of brings this side where it’s like, ‘Oh, I don’t have to take life that seriously.’”
As for a reality return, Ally said, “Never say never,” before adding, “But I’m content.”