Stassi Schroeder looked back on her time on Vanderpump Rules during an interview on Thursday.
As she prepares to return to the spotlight alongside Lisa Vanderpump, 63, on the second season of Vanderpump Villa and on her own docu-comedy, Stassi Says, the 36-year-old mother-of-two reflected on Pump Rules, discussed The Valley, and teased her new book, in which she opens up about her mental health struggles.
“I don’t have to sit at a table like, ‘OK, I have to talk about how [Scheana Shay] called blah blah … There’s a wonderful freedom in that,” Stassi revealed during a September 5 interview with Bustle. “Something I’ve learned over the last couple of years is that I love the word ‘no.’ There is such a power when you say no to opportunities or going to a party. In terms of becoming a mother, your backbone gets so much stronger.”
As fans may know, Stassi married husband Beau Clark, 44, in 2020 and has since welcomed two children: three-year-old daughter Hartford and 11-month-old son Messer. So, it goes without saying that her day-to-day life looks quite different than it did years ago when Stassi was featured on Pump Rules.
“The second we get in the car, Hartford and Messer are screaming bloody murder at the same time, the whole ride home. When we get into the house, we ignore her tantrum. I can see her, I make sure she’s safe, but we literally go about our life as if this blood-curdling scream isn’t happening for an hour,” she shared. “[If that hour were to air on Pump Rules,] we would look like the most neglectful freaking parents. They would probably zoom in on the messes, the dirty plates in the kitchen sink, anything that would help shape [the idea] that ‘Wow, they’re awful parents. Their lives are falling apart.’”
Although fans have long been calling for her return and suspected she would join The Valley, which debuted earlier this year, Stassi turned down the role.
“There’s a better chance of me doing Celebrity Big Brother UK,” she noted. “Everyone has a fear of ‘remaining relevant,’ but there’s so much power in being out of the spotlight. You have to evolve a little bit. You need to let people miss you. No one wants to see, hear, watch, or read the same thing over and over. So taking a break and not being relevant is powerful — just like saying no.”
Since becoming a mother, Stassi said she’s super aware of how what she’s doing impacts her kids. That said, Stassi “[loves] reality TV.”
“Even through all of the sh*t, how it makes you a psychopath, [how] it’s not good for your mental health, I still enjoy doing it,” she revealed.
Earlier this summer, following years of anticipation, Stassi confirmed she’d landed a development deal with Hulu that would see her on Vanderpump Villa season two and Stassi Says, which will follow her as she helps others through identity crises.
“I never felt like I was completely done with reality TV. I knew it would have to be what feels authentic to who we are as a family, and Beau was super supportive of the idea,” she said in response to the news. “My whole adult life was on Vanderpump Rules. It was all I knew. I would’ve stayed on forever. I’m still friends with a lot of the producers, and they always joke, ‘Remember when you said you were going to give birth and let one of the cameramen just literally be right there in your vagina?’”
Also speaking to Bustle, Beau admitted he was hesitant to appear on reality TV.
“Doing a reality show was originally something I didn’t want to be a part of,” he stated. “Then I enjoyed it on and off, but it put a lot of negative strain on my emotions, and I went to therapy after. So when this stuff came up, I was just like, ‘I don’t want to be around people who are one minute smiling at you and the next minute stabbing you in the back.’ I don’t want my children around that or seeing it.”
Looking ahead to her return, Stassi revealed she still struggles to juggle motherhood with the cameras.
“One of the main things that keep me up at night is: ‘What are the things that my kids are going to be talking to their therapists about, the way that I talk about my parents?’” she explained. “The only thing I can think of that they could be pissed about is that I showed them to the world. But then I think, ‘What’s the alternative?’ They could also, 18 years from now, say, ‘Why didn’t you ever show me?’”
While Hartford and Messer have not yet been featured on reality television, Stassi did recently show her daughter her and Beau’s engagement episode from Pump Rules, which got her excited.
Moving on to her new book, You Can’t Have It All: The Basic B*tch Guide to Taking the Pressure Off, Stassi said that when it came to addressing hard topics, like self-harm, suicide idealization, and Adderall addiction, motherhood inspired her to speak out.
“When I look at myself naked, Hartford will see a little line, and she’ll be like, ‘Mommy, ouchie,’” Stassi confessed. “I’m like, ‘Oh, God, that feels dirty. How will I ever explain to her that this was something that I chose?’”
“It just feels like it’s been a secret, and I don’t like secrets. I think that’s part of maybe why I do what I do — podcasts, just living out loud. Because there is this feeling of: ‘I’m free. Everyone knows my sh*t. I don’t have to hide anything,’” she added.
You Can’t Have It All: The Basic B*tch Guide to Taking the Pressure Off hits bookshelves on September 10.