Leave it to the ladies of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to ruin a perfectly good Taco Tuesday hosted by Crystal. All it takes is Dorit feeling left out of friendships, mixed with a little rumor spreading and sh*t talking, and then sprinkle in a bit of OnlyFans… and that’s the recipe for disaster. Denise is more coherent this time around, and Erika is a lot more aggressive. Guess Lent is over, huh?
We get to witness Sutton (not wearing a cat sweater), and her new suitor out on a date. This man, Sal, was chosen by Sutton’s matchmaker, and upon quickly eyeballing the guy, Sutton is hopeful. He is checking off numerous boxes on her dating list, although once he begins talking about sweat, Sutton’s radar goes off. It’s when Sal goes in-depth sharing stories about his mother that Sutton decides this is a one-date kind of deal. Sal’s abundance of mom stories may explain why he is still seeking a partner… and that partner is certainly not going to be Sutton.
Over at the Umansky household, Kyle has decided to procure enough charcuterie for the entire state of California, but only Annemarie and Dorit come over. Dorit is happy she doesn’t have a narrow esophagus so she can enjoy all of the food — a subtle but noticeable dig at Sutton. This cues the Sutton sh*t talking session, and Dorit tries to understand Sutton’s eating habits, considering the inconsistencies in Sutton’s patterns. Annemarie denies saying anything wrong to Sutton, despite giving Sutton unsolicited medical advice at a party.
Kyle casually mentions how she is working on a show, and a shocked Dorit is taken aback upon learning this information. At one point, Dorit knew everything about Kyle, but now she doesn’t even know how many tats her friends has — which Kyle lets her know has increased. Kyle slips Morgan’s name into the convo effortlessly, and she reveals that she gave Morgan a K tattoo on her body. Dorit is first appalled and then jealous… why did Kyle never do that for her?
Garcelle arrives at a lounge (why is it empty?) to meet with Erika. It’s nice to see those two back in a good place after all they have been through with Garcelle’s son. Erika is thrilled to talk about her big show in Vegas, and Garcelle lets Erika know a surprise guest will be joining them.
Surprise — it’s SUTTON! Garcelle wants to see how the duo can get along (with a few thousand cocktails in them), and Erika talks about how Denise needs to “give up the four-year beef” that she was trying to reference (unsuccessfully) at Kyle’s event. Garcelle explains that Denise has been holding onto that comment about threesomes, but Erika didn’t want to go back in time. Things could get messy at Crystal’s upcoming Taco Tuesday party, considering Denise and Erika will both be in attendance.
Speaking of threesomes, these ladies are having a BALL on their night out. Loose lips begin spilling things like it’s only $7.00 for a naked bundle of Denise Richards on OnlyFans. You can thank Erika for that info… but I am more concerned about why Denise Richards is only charging $7.00?? Garcelle lets it slip that Sutton made out with her driver, which Erika finds hilarious. Martinis always get the secrets out.
As Sutton gets her makeup done for Taco Tuesday, she peruses OnlyFans to really see how much Denise is charging. Erika wasn’t kidding… Sutton was even willing to give Denise $12 to see what would come of it.
A clearheaded Denise (looking like the bad-girl version of Sandra D. in Grease) gets a ride to the party with Garcelle, and they discuss how they think things will be with Erika. And Dorit carpools with Kyle, her used-to-be-friend. Dorit can’t seem to shake that she is not as close with Kyle, and Kyle confirms this in her confessional — she felt disappointed by Dorit at the last reunion. In private, Dorit was supportive and siding with Kyle, yet when the group was all together, it was a different story.
Dorit goes as far as telling Kyle that she is “morphing” into Morgan, and I silently cheered because she said what we are all thinking. Crystal has invited some friends (see? She DOES have a friend group) along with the RHOBH ladies. Dorit states, “I am always so surprised by how many friends Crystal has,” which translates to Dorit being jealous that not only is she not as tight with Kyle, but that Crystal has something more than she does. Before Sutton arrives, Dorit shares with the group that Sutton lost her marbles at the Magic Mike show, and so perhaps, Nia, a friend of Crystal’s, should ask Sutton about it. Talk about pot stirring!
Tension is thick when Erika enters the party and sees Denise chatting it up with Dorit. Denise, apparently trying to make excuses for her insane behavior at Kyle’s, shares that she had a fever of over 100 that night. Riiight. Sutton, dressed as Little Bo Peep, and Kim Richards are the last to arrive — not together. Speaking of not being together, will we ever get Kyle, Kim, and Kathy in the same season?
Sutton and Dorit kick off the drama. Dorit asks Sutton to stop accusing her of poaching her assistant, Avi. Sutton then asks Dorit to stop accusing her of putting vodka in her coffee. A light banter ensues, and Dorit learns about the girls’ night Erika, Garcelle, and Sutton had. Erika chuckles and blurts out LOUDLY that Sutton made out with her driver. Dorit is aghast, and they all seem to laugh it off. Little do they know, but Dorit is saving that tidbit of info as ammunition for later.
Later, Dorit finds Garcelle, and she whispers that Crystal is, “like drumming up shit,” to which Garcelle retorts, “I’m surprised she’s actually talking about something.” According to Dorit, Crystal is saying that Dorit is the one running around saying Sutton has a drinking problem.
Like a good little puppet, Crystal’s friend brings up the Magic Mike show to Sutton per Dorit’s request. Sutton says that she didn’t like the legs spread, and she isn’t sure why she has to explain herself… after all, some people “don’t like mustard.” Sutton wonders how and why this got brought up, and kudos to production for giving us that flashback of Dorit planting the seed…
Dorit announces that Sutton had dollar bills ready to go, and she wonders how she pretends to be so prudish when she made out with her driver. That’s when Garcelle steps in. She feels like Dorit is now saying it in front of everyone to embarrass Sutton. Sutton repeats, “Why did you bring it up, Dorit,” repeatedly, which sounds eerily similar to Sutton’s now-infamous “name em.”
Dorit wonders why it’s okay for Erika to scream it across the room, but it’s not okay for Dorit to bring it up in front of the entire group. Dorit feels attacked by Garcelle, which triggers Garcelle. Garcelle begins to talk about Dorit and her privilege, and eyebrows go up — the audience is listening. Surprisingly, Erika is the one who translates it all for Dorit. She helps her understand that the word “attack” is a trigger coming from a white woman to a Black woman. Garcelle doesn’t want to educate Dorit, but Dorit already got schooled.
While she is already in the thick of the drama, Dorit turns her attention to Crystal about Sutton’s drinking. Sutton wants to shut it down, and she lets the world know that she is moving forward and will not let rumors drag her down. Dorit apologizes, but Denise lets Dorit know that her chatter came off as “judgmental.”
Because Dorit is tired of having a target on her back, she decides to spin this and throw Erika “the hot potato,” thus inciting a discussion between Erika and Denise. Dorit decides that she has had enough of people tearing into her and goes home, leaving Erika to remind Denise that she apologized to her two weeks ago for whatever she was angry about. Denise tells Erika she is still carrying anger toward Erika for insinuating that her then 13-year-old would know what a threesome was. To that, Erika retorts that Denise’s oldest daughter is on OnlyFans… she definitely knows. Erika lets Denise know that she is going to go as low as she can, and when Denise calls Erika mean, Erika ponders, straight-faced, “Who is more profitable [on OnlyFans]? You or Sami?” What a burn. To be continued…