Kyle Richards is ready to stop navigating her marital troubles in the public eye.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, 55, admitted to Entertainment Tonight that it was “not easy shooting this season” of the hit Bravo series, which sees her discussing the future of her marriage to husband Mauricio Umansky.
“It’s certainly not easy watching it all back and having to relive it all again,” she told the outlet.
The reality star shared that she is ready for season 13 finale to air next week, explaining,
“I’m just sort of waiting for it to be over, to be honest. I feel like I’ve gotten through, like, the hardest parts, but then I have a little break… and then more difficult stuff comes up.”
Richards said she was “open and honest” with her RHOBH costars about where her marriage stood but still held some things close to the vest.
“I’m not hiding anything from anybody,” the reality star told ET. “I’m working through things myself, and I’m going through something, and I want to be able to be as open as I possibly can, and I will be — when I figure it all out.”
As for where she stands with Umansky, 53, now, the Halloween Kills actress said the pair have yet to decide if they will get divorced seven months after their separation became public.
A source close to the couple told PEOPLE at the time that the pair “have been separated for a while now but are still living under the same roof. They remain amicable as they figure out what’s next for them and their family.” At the time, Richards and Umansky denied rumors they were getting divorced but admitted to having a “rough year” in a joint statement posted to Instagram.
“[Divorce] would be when we can no longer do what we’re doing right now,” she said of her and Umansky still living together with their daughters Alexia, 27, Sophia, 24, and Portia, 15. (Richards also shares daugther Farrah Brittany, 35, with ex-husband Guraish Aldjufrie.)
“We were never fighters, we’re not a toxic couple, so we’ve been able to manage that so far,” Richards explained to ET. “It’s gonna go one way or the other, you know? We’re either going to wake up and be like, ‘Oh my gosh! We could actually fix this,’ or it’s going to be divorce. I mean, I just don’t know how sustainable living under same roof as friends and as a family can last. I don’t know how that can last.”
The experience of sharing her marriage troubles on camera made Richards question if she could continue filming after being part of the series for 13 seasons.
“This season, when I was struggling so much personally and I felt like people were coming at me when I really just needed friends and support, I really thought, how can I continue to do this?” she said. “Why would I put myself through this? I was already struggling so much in my personal life, why would I want to be tortured in front of the cameras, and then have to relive this again in six months? But, obviously, one day the time will come where I say enough is enough.”
“Every year it’s like, should I? Should I?” she added of returning to the series. “I remember years ago saying, after season 5, I’m not doing any more. Here I am. But, you know, right now it doesn’t sound so great. But I hate to even say that because who knows what I’m going to feel like in a month or two? I don’t know.”
“Every season, like, do you leave on a high note, or was your season so bad you don’t ever want to come back again?” she concluded. “I don’t know. I don’t have that answer.”
“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t really know what’s next. I’m open to many things,” she added.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.