Amid the hustle and bustle of starring on the longest-running primetime medical drama in history, hosting a podcast and raising two children, Camilla Luddington knows the importance of finding love in the little moments.
The Grey’s Anatomy star, 41, tells PEOPLE that no matter how busy their schedules get, she and her husband Matthew Alan have one “really romantic” morning ritual that keeps them connected.
“He brings me coffee every morning,” she tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview. “And it’s just this little tiny moment in the middle of the chaos of getting the kids ready that feels like he’s thinking of me.”
“I call it ‘Daddy Bucks’ because he’s like Starbucks,” laughs Luddington, who has starred as Dr. Jo Wilson on the ABC drama since 2012. “It’s like the best cup of coffee ever. And just the act of him handing me coffee every morning is this little moment of love language between us.”
Luddington and Alan met as struggling actors working at Barney’s Beanery sports bar in Santa Monica to make extra income. Because their relationship began platonically, Luddington admits that she was nervous to share her feelings for him out of fear it could impact their friendship. She only worked up the nerve thanks to few leftover Jell-O shots on one late night as she waited for Alan’s shift to end.
“I stayed later than I should have because he was working later than me and I wanted to hang out with him,” she remembers. “And I got drunk on Jell-O shots and ended up kind of confessing my crush.”
That was more than 15 years ago. The two are now parents to children Hayden, 7, and Lucas, 4, and celebrated five years of marriage in August 2024.
In addition to her morning dose of “Daddy Bucks,” Luddington says she and Alan are sure to work in quality time together whenever they can.
“On days that we’re both not filming, going to lunch together is really nice,” she says. “We try and work out together and then when [our kids] go to bed, we try to physically be together. Sometimes your kids are hanging off of you and you kind of get lost and like, ‘Hey, have we even kissed today? Have we hugged today? Get over here.’”
Date nights often include the little ones — with excursions to see movies like Mufasa: The Lion King or Moana 2 — except when there’s a red carpet event involved.
“We use it as the precursor to a date night because it forces us to look good,” she says. “So our last date night was we went to an event and we walked the carpet and we grabbed some champagne inside, and then off we went and we had our own dinner date.”
She continues with a laugh, “We looked so fancy wearing a lot of jewelry that wasn’t mine and we’re like, ‘Hey, we’re kind of hot. We forgot.’”