Robyn Brown is sharing how becoming Kody Brown’s last remaining wife has affected her.
In an interview with PEOPLE, the 44-year-old Sister Wives star revealed how the Brown family patriarch, 54, had been “pushing me away” since Meri, Christine and Janelle Brown left their plural marriage.
“It’s been hard on our relationship,” she said as part of the family’s PEOPLE cover story in August. “It’s been really hard on our relationship because I think when you’re going through a divorce, you start questioning yourself.”
“For him, he’s straight, so he questions the opposite sex. So it’s this kind of huge upheaval in the way that you think about yourself and others,” the TLC personality said.
Robyn confessed that Kody had been self-sabotaging their marriage and “looking at me sideways, because I am a woman” based on the fact that “there’s women in his life that he’s struggling with.”
“I think he is starting to do better,” she noted. “But it’s been a couple of years of this and then picking fights and then just acting like he’s … almost like he’s stressed out that I’ll leave him too or something.”
Though she constantly reminds him that “I’m not going anywhere. We’re sticking this out. We’re figuring this out,” Robyn admitted it’s been “really hard to help him to realize and remember what our relationship is.”
Following the aftermath of her sister wives’ decision to leave their marriage, the reality star claimed, “I don’t think anybody should be married while they’re going through a divorce.”
“Anybody who’s gone through a divorce knows that it brings out the worst in you and sides of somebody that you didn’t know existed, type of a thing,” she continued. “I always look at divorce as the opposite of all of the effort and the beauty and the wonder and the happiness of marriage. It’s like the opposite of that and it’s been very difficult.”
During Sunday’s episode of Sister Wives, the couple separately addressed the overall impact of the ongoing drama, sparked by Christine’s departure and Janelle’s recent fight with Kody, and how their marriage is potentially at stake.
For Robyn’s part, she feared that Kody was having “thoughts” about leaving her, which she said would “absolutely devastate” her.
Kody also acknowledged how hard this period has been for his now-last-remaining wife while speaking to his brother-in-law Nathan.
“It’s not just the husband that’s being left. Robyn’s feeling the ultimate rejection,” Kody told the cameras as Robyn said in a separate confessional, “I’m dealing with some depression and some mourning, some loss and grieving. And it’s a very difficult heartbreaking situation.”
“This is stuff that I should just be keeping to myself,” he continued. “I don’t want Robyn to see this. I don’t want her to know how dark I’ve gotten.”
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Sister Wives airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.